What is he trying to say? Why I’ll kick his $%&!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8914760/

A recent study found that men whose masculinity was threatened overcompensated in later studies.

Uh… durr!!! The real question is who paid for this study?

I know personally that when my wife mocks me because I am wearing her pink panties that I always take them off and exchange them for the white ones with ruffles. I mean, I don’t want to be taken for a sissy!

Read back to my earlier entry about my pink flowery garment bag. I didn’t shave for 2 days after enduring those mocking looks and derisive glances. When I finally got around to it, my Epilady Two could hardly remove the manly bristles on my neck and face.

Seriously. I thought this was a funny story. Two key points that stood out. The overcompensating men were more inclined to show homophobic tendencies and to show a desire to purchase SUVs. I can tell you that I am not homophobic – I just prefer non-fat milk.

However, there are times that I pretend my Dodge Caravan is a raised black Excursion. To get the full effect, I fill my tank with gas and spray another 20 gallons all over the ground. Then I drive around until I find some kid on a bicycle, pretend he is a full-sized car, and cut him off.

More seriously however, was this little ditty.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8901143/

Basically, it says that 1 in 25 wives have been unfaithful and you (as a man) might be raising another’s child.

CLUE: If you and your wife are Caucasian and the child is African-American, Asian, or Hispanic – it’s probably not a recessive gene on your wife’s side of the family. Don’t let her pull that one over on you.

I don’t know how the odds skew but having four kids, I am figuring that there is a pretty good chance that one or more of those little rats running around my house isn't mine.

I was going to take it up with Laura but she was busy having dinner with the mailman. She tells me she is just fascinated with male men – which I understand accounts for a lot of them.

But hey, it doesn’t impact my masculinity. I’m comfortable with all of it. Just ask my tattoo artist. I explained the whole thing to him while he tattooed a cliched barbed-wire arm band across my bicep. I don’t know if he heard me because we had the Nascar race turned up so high.

Well, I have to go now. I just bought a new tool belt and decided to build a room addition…right after my soap.