Abusive and Hostile and the NCAA

The NCAA recently reversed a decision regarding the Florida Seminoles using the name of an Indian tribe for their football team. They had previously said any college using an American Indian name or likeness was being abusive and hostile toward that group. I agree. Pretty insensitive but they only touched the tip of the ice berg.

I find “Fighting Irish” offensive. I’m Irish but in the immortal words of Michael Jackson – “I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

With that in mind I believe the NCAA needs to take their recent decision about American Indian..uh Native American… - or fill in the “group name du jour” right here __ - names a little further.

While I personally find “Fighting Irish” to be abusive and hostile – and I’ll beat the hell out of any one who thinks differently – I am sure there are other groups that are also not being considered.
I’ve compiled a very short list. Chances are you could add to it.

UCLA Bruins
Bears aren’t even allowed to live in LA – certainly not Bel Air – just north of UCLA. Sure, they have dogs, weasels, and rats (mostly in the legal and movie industries) but no bears.

USC Trojans:
Do we even need to bring this one up. I mean, I think safe sex is important and all but I don’t think we need a condom for a mascot. It’s just a little creepy and gross if you ask me.

Oregon Ducks
Any football team that has as its mascot a duck deserves to be on the list as abusive.

Nebraska Cornhuskers
Uh, Cornhusker – I had to look this up because it seemed, well, weird.
Cornhusker: n. Someone who husks corn. Hmm... Well that was helpful. Let’s try again.
Husks: v. remove the husks from corn. Oh what the hell is going here… come on. Did they just use the word being defined in the definition. Dammit, I hate when that happens. Let’s look again.
Husks: (not husks the verb but husks the noun) n. outer membranous covering of some fruits or seeds.

Ah, a Cornhusker is someone who husks (removes) the husks (outer membranous covering) of corn.
Wait, I had to look up a noun that referred to a verb of the same name that referred to a noun of the very same name. Who wrote this stupid language – the English I bet.

Okay, just because of the definition of Cornhusker, the Cornhusker’s name is not only abusive but its stupid too! Just the kind of mascot to strike fear into their opponents. Some matronly old farmer’s wife peeling corn to throw into a pot – ooh, I’m a shakin’

I went and found a whole conference that is abusive and hostile.

The Big East. Okay, I’m lying. They are my favorite conference. Look at their logo.

It is too small, my eyes or bad, or it is smudged on the left side but to me, the word "Big" looks really like "BR" – kind of. The shape of the logo subliminally reinforces this. Really, when I first looked at it, that is what I saw. "Breast Conference"

I thought, “Holy Cow!!! How did I miss this conference? Is it new? What do the cheerleaders look like?” Then I realized my gaff..but too late, the damage was done.

I will forever know the Big East Conference as the Breast Conference…and now, so will you.

And believe me, don’t I know that I need sensitivity training.

Back to the Fighting Irish. Being Irish and knowing that many have the propensity to fight…about anything…I don’t really mind the name. I just wish it more accurately reflected our group better.
Maybe it could be amended to be…

The drunken, stubborn, misunderstand-what-someone-says-because-you-are-so-blitzed-so-you-start-Fighting Irish.

But there is no help for those Oregon Ducks.