In an unprecedented move of uncharacteristic aggression, Stephen Harper, Canada’s newly elected conservative prime minister declared war on the U.S. Telling reporters that he cannot allow US nuclear submarines to travel through Canadian waters, he emphatically stated that military force would be used if necessary.
To prove his resolve he has formally requested that President Bush immediately provide the military supplies and troops necessary to combat US forces.
“It’s a little awkward but were just aren’t used to fighting without the US. We are hoping they will uphold current treaties and give us what we need to fight this aggressor.”
As a precaution, Canadian troops were stock-piling beer in preparations for a long cold winter.
In a “surprising” turn of events, Palestinian supporters of Fatah and Hamas have started armed conflicts with each other following recent election results – resorting to their traditional, “democracy until we lose” stance.
In a not-so-surprising move, Jimmy Carter has asked that the US continue to send aid to the Palestinians – to maintain a semblance of order. To fully appreciate this statement, please re-read the prior paragraph. Palestinian president Abbas told Jimmy Carter during a recent meeting that the Palestinian Authority did not even have enough money to pay salaries at the end of the month.
Wait a minute... We feed and cloth the people and pay the government salaries. Fortunately, with Hamas winning the elections, the salaries won't be needed.
No comments:
Post a Comment