Roar! I’m a tiger!

In the "truth is stranger that fiction" category, we bring you this news item from MSNBC...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7600056/


"Who's the father?"

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for helping baby animals and all. My family has “nursed” a few back to health ourselves but I think I may have drawn the line if my wife had to personally NURSE them back to health.

It’s no mystery that husbands have no recognition of breast as “feeding tubes” – having personally categorized them as “home entertainment systems.” We can tolerate our kids sharing the wealth, as it were – albeit for a short time – but other mammals taking a turn is a bit much. I mean, they aren’t even stoop-shouldered, knuckle-walkers.

At least with hominids I could have a customary jealous reaction but my emotional response to members of the large cat family might be hard to sort out.

It certainly brings a whole new meaning to the term “den mother.”

When asked his opinion of his surrogate mother’s “feeding tubes” the male tiger, affectionately known as Tony replied, “Theeyyy’rrrree GRRREEEEAATTT!!!”

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Wendy's Finger Food Recap

In case you hadn't heard, the woman who reported finding a finger in her chili at Wendy's was arrested and the police believe it was a hoax. That is rather anti-climactic. What is interesting is the description of the chili in this story here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7594873/

2nd paragraph:

"...Ayala claimed she bit down a 1 1/2-inch finger in a mouthful of steamy chili on March 22."

Is "steamy chili" the formal name of the product or was the writer choosing an interesting time to add color to their narrative. Why not "delicious chili" or "mouth-watering chili?" I'm just curious..

Thanks, no time to write much more, check back later.

Musings on Writing

This past week my book, The IT Career Builder’s Toolkit, was covered in the Midwest Book Review.

“A ‘must’ for any serious IT pro.” – Midwest Book Review

Here’s the entire review:

==========================
The IT Career Builder's Toolkit
Matthew Moran
Cisco Press
800 East 96th St., Indianapolis, IN 46240
1587131560 $29.95 ciscopress.com

Matthew Moran's The IT Career Builder's Toolkit could also have been reviewed in our 'business' section for job-seekers, but is featured here because so many IT employees are seeking work, and so many college students aspire to enter the field. This is career prep with no holds barred: Matthew Moran profiles solid, market-based skills and proven methods to advance an IT career or reach a goal. Newcomers in particular receive explicit advice on how to present technical skills value in a tough job market, how to become an essential commodity in an overwhelmed market, and how to gain meaningful professional contacts. A 'must' for any serious IT pro.
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Earlier, at UnixReview
"…the only problem with the book that I can see is that I wish I had written it."
http://www.unixreview.com/documents/s=9602/ur0503e/


I spend a lot of time goofing off on this blog but I am deeply honored and very excited about these reviews. They are on one hand humbling and on the other validating. While I and the team at Cisco Press worked hard to make the text readable and the content valuable, I do not take lightly such reviews.

I’ve been writing and using word (over-using words if you ask my mom) since I was very young. Writing is an often agonizing endeavor. Not in the difficulty of the words – God knows I’ve never had a problem producing words – but in the mental/psychological banter you put yourself through.

At times, you read what you write and think, “That’s good!” But much of the time, the words that you have produced – to you – seem average at best. I believe this may be true with any artist or craftsman. Because you form the basis of your own normalcy, what you produce is always average, if only your average.

When an industry peer recognizes your work, it brings a sigh of relief and some pride. It feels good!

Fortunately, this has occurred on a few occasions with this project. When Chris Cleveland at Cisco called me and said, “You’re a good writer,” it meant something. When Karen Gill, the freelance proofreader and copyeditor for my book wrote me an email extolling both the writing and the content of my book, it meant something.

And on numerous occasions, my editor, Mary Beth Ray, at Cisco Press provided encouragement that has been life-changing.

When I say life-changing, I do not mean that lightly. Mary Beth read some of my articles and purchased a self-published copy of my book. I had no idea who she was – just another customer. I sent her a copy of my book and moved on to other projects.

Two weeks later, she contacted me. We had a phone conversation that I consider to be one of the most significant of my life. Being contacted by an editor at a major publisher who wants to publish your book is an amazing life event.

It gave me both a belief and provided a flame of desire to make a concerted effort to make writer my vocation. Now we are working on a new project with Mary Beth and have an agent ready to look at Laughter & Tears In A Hyperactive Home.

Next step: Get my self-published, If Mom Were President off the blocks.

Giving Wendy’s the finger; it doesn’t add up

Giving Wendy’s the Finger, it doesn’t add up
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7487945/

I think something may be amiss here. The woman who claimed to have found the finger in a bowl of Wendy’s Chili has decided not to sue. Her reason, she is too emotionally distraught. ???

Of course, they have discovered that she has a history of suing companies – but I am sure there is no connection. Then again, maybe she isn’t being 100% truthful in all of this. Maybe she gave Wendy’s the finger – literally.

They are running DNA test to discover who the finger belongs to. No one has stepped forward yet but maybe it is the finger they used to dial the phone with. I would start looking close to her home. Like her child – the one with the bandaged hand! Or her sister – who always has her hands in her pockets and recently had brought all her gloves to the tailor for some “adjustments.”

Is there any chance she was the first person on the scene of a horrific accident? Did someone get whacked and she casually thought, “She won’t be needing this.” Perhaps with some crude finger humor to boot, like.

“Ah a corpse – a statistic…and what’s a missing digit when your just a number.”

Then again, maybe that is why I was suspicious in the beginning. Maybe the missing digit was why it didn’t add up!

Okay, enough mathematical humor on this one. Besides, the facts aren’t out yet. I shouldn’t be pointing fingers – especially at that woman. Remember, when you point your finger at someone, there are 4 pointing back – and a fifth twitching in the chili.

Enough! Enough I say!

We will have to see how this plays out. I’m still not ordering any chili from Wendy’s. I never did before this but it just seems unappealing. Personally, I go for food I pick up with my fingers – not that which may contain fingers.

A brief Vegas report

It is with some sadness that I report this to you…. The Candlelight Wedding Chapel – mentioned just last week in this very blog – is closed and scheduled to be torn down. In its place, a mega-casino next to the Riviera.

I don’t know if they are re-opening a newer version of the same chapel somewhere because the website was still up and gave no indication of the close. However, it is possible that they don’t even remember that they have a website. Stranger things have happened.

What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas!
You betcha! This past weekend, our kids survived, the house survived, and my voice lasted the duration of my talk. Since returning from New Orleans more than 3 weeks ago, I’ve been dealing with a flu/cold/sniffle/cough thing. In another week I am off to Boston and still can’t seem to shake it. But I will press on.

Vegas was pretty uneventful by all accounts. Laura sunbathed by the pool one day and we ran through the various casinos, arriving at the conclusion that they all look the same at some point. The Venetian was pretty nice – however. Certainly the nicest in the non-casino areas of any of the places we visited.

We took a walk downtown. The girl is crazy if you ask me. She even ended up with beads – six strands of them. She would send me to pick up a drink somewhere, I would hear some hooting and hollering, and come back to find her wearing a new strand. Lot of friendly guys in the area though. They kept waving and giving the old thumbs up. Is that normal in Vegas?

She almost convinced me to go into the topless revue on Fremont Street but I would have none of it. I don’t want her gawking at all those gals on stage – putting wild notions in her head. I can just imagine it. I arrive at home after a long day at the office to find a note…

“Matt,

I’ve gone back to Fremont Street to dance. It is what I’ve always wanted to do. You are a prude and I need to free my inner animal. Don’t worry about the snake and Tiffany, they are coming with me – as props.

Toodleloo,
Luscious Laura”

And then where would I be…..Fremont Street would be a good guess!